The Top 10 Steps to Forgiveness
For many people forgiveness is one of the hardest steps of all in our progress toward freedom of spirit. Yet it is essential. For as long as we are unable to forgive, we keep ourselves chained to the unforgiven. We give them rent-free space in our minds, emotional shackles on our hearts, and the right to torment us in the small hours of the night. When it is time to move on, but still too hard, try some or all of these steps. (Note that these steps are appropriate for events resulting from an ongoing adult relationship with anyone. They may not all be appropriate for the random act of violence from a stranger, nor for someone who was abused as a child or while in some other position of true helplessness.)
1. Understand that forgiving does not mean giving permission for the behavior to be repeated. It does not mean saying that what was done was acceptable. Forgiveness is needed for behaviors that were not acceptable and that you should not allow to be repeated.
2. Recognize who is being hurt by your non-forgiveness. Does the other person burn with your anger, feel the knot in your stomach, experience the cycling and recycling of your thoughts as you re-experience the events in your mind? Do they stay awake as you rehearse in your mind what you would like to say or do to 'punish' them? No, the pain is all yours.
3. Do not require to know 'why' as a prerequisite to forgiveness. Knowing why the behavior happened is unlikely to lessen the pain, because the pain came at a time when you did not know why. Occasionally there are times when knowing why makes forgiveness unncessary, but they are rare. Don't count on it and don't count on even the perpetrator knowing why.
4. Make a list of what you need to forgive. What was actually done that caused your pain? Not what you felt, what was done.
5. Acknowledge your part. Were you honest about your hurt or did you hide the fact that the behavior hurt you? Did you seek peace by reassuring the perpetrator that it was all right? Did you stay when you could or should have left? If so, then you, too, have some responsibility. (Here you start to move away from being a victim.)
6. Make a list of what you gained from the relationship, whatever form of relationship it was. Looking back you may be focusing on the negatives, the hurts. Yet if they were repeated, you must have stayed to allow the repetition. You did not remove yourself. Why? There must have been some positives if you chose to stay around. What were they?
7. Write a letter to the person (no need to mail it). Acknowledge what you gained from the relationship, and express forgiveness for the hurts. Allow yourself to express all your feelings fully. Do not focus only on the hurts.
8. Create a ceremony in which you get rid of your lists and the letter, so symbolizing the ending of the link between you. You may choose to visualize placing them on a raft and watching it drift gently away down a river. You may prefer to burn them and scatter the ashes. You may invent some other form of ritualized separation.
9. Visualize the person you are forgiving being blessed by your forgiveness and, as a result, being freed from continuing the behavior that hurt you.
10. Now that you have freed yourself from the painful links and released the pain, feel yourself growing lighter and more joyous. Now you are free to move on with your life without that burden of bitterness. Do not look back in anger.
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
World Water Vision - URGENT!
A Vision Today for Water Tomorrow
Industrial and private water demands have grown to exceed natural supplies in many parts of the world. Without dramatic changes in water management, this local scarcity will soon extend to regional or global proportion.
Water Vision is designed to build a consensus among professionals and stakeholders to design management plans that avert further water crises. We believe that a sustainable water future begins with a Vision. Our Vision includes a world where all people have access to enough safe water to meet their needs including agricultural needs within management plans that maintain the integrity of freshwater ecosystems.
Responsible stewardship to safeguard the world's freshwater resources will require integrated management at all levels, from the individual to the international, to preserve the Earth while supporting the endeavors of humankind effectively, efficiently, equitably.
Water Vision's Unique Approach
A participatory process makes the World Water Vision unique. Within two years, over 15,000 women and men at local, district, national, regional and international levels shared their aspirations and developed strategies for practical action towards the sustainable use and management of water resources.
The World Water Vision draws on the accumulated experience of the water sector, particularly through sector visions and consultations. Further, Water Vision includes contributions from professionals and stakeholders who developed integrated regional Visions in more than 15 geographic regions. This approach takes Water Vision beyond an academic exercise to the foundation of a movement.
The World Water Vision was presented by the World Commission on Water for the 21st Century at the Second World Water Forum in March 2000 in The Hague, the Netherlands.
Industrial and private water demands have grown to exceed natural supplies in many parts of the world. Without dramatic changes in water management, this local scarcity will soon extend to regional or global proportion.
Water Vision is designed to build a consensus among professionals and stakeholders to design management plans that avert further water crises. We believe that a sustainable water future begins with a Vision. Our Vision includes a world where all people have access to enough safe water to meet their needs including agricultural needs within management plans that maintain the integrity of freshwater ecosystems.
Responsible stewardship to safeguard the world's freshwater resources will require integrated management at all levels, from the individual to the international, to preserve the Earth while supporting the endeavors of humankind effectively, efficiently, equitably.
Water Vision's Unique Approach
A participatory process makes the World Water Vision unique. Within two years, over 15,000 women and men at local, district, national, regional and international levels shared their aspirations and developed strategies for practical action towards the sustainable use and management of water resources.
The World Water Vision draws on the accumulated experience of the water sector, particularly through sector visions and consultations. Further, Water Vision includes contributions from professionals and stakeholders who developed integrated regional Visions in more than 15 geographic regions. This approach takes Water Vision beyond an academic exercise to the foundation of a movement.
The World Water Vision was presented by the World Commission on Water for the 21st Century at the Second World Water Forum in March 2000 in The Hague, the Netherlands.
Darfur Activists Urge Obama to Get Tougher
WASHINGTON — Darfur activists upset about President Barack Obama's Sudan policy are launching a critical advertising campaign that urges him to step up pressure on Khartoum.
The move comes as the Obama administration is preparing to release a delayed review of U.S. policy on Sudan. Activists, who had hoped Obama would focus more than the Bush administration did on Darfur and take a tougher line, say they fear disappointment.
Advertisements purchased in U.S. newspapers to begin running Tuesday highlight past statements on Sudan by Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and urge the officials to live up to their words.
They are signed by:
Humanity United,
Save Darfur,
the Genocide Intervention Network,
Enough!
Investors against Genocide.
The groups say they have purchased ad space in newspapers including The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal and two local papers on Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts, where Obama is vacationing this week.
One spot quotes Obama's statement on the appointment of his special envoy to Sudan, Scott Gration, in March.
"Sudan is a priority for this administration, particularly at a time when it cries out for peace and for justice," Obama said.
"President Obama, it is just a nice quote unless it inspires equally strong action in Sudan," the advertisement says. It urges the administration to ensure the international community enforces consequences for human rights violations in Sudan.
Some of the activists have been critical of Gration for what they believe is an emphasis on incentives for the Sudanese government to cooperate. While the administration wants to pressure Khartoum to prevent further violence in Darfur, where conflict has led to the deaths of up to 300,000 people and the displacement of 2.7 million, it also is seeking help in fighting terror.
The United States also is trying to help Sudan fully apply the terms of a 2005 peace accord that ended a 22-year civil war between the northern and southern parts of Sudan.
Some of the activists say the administration needs to make clear that it will press for sanctions and other punitive measures if the Sudanese government commits or condones human rights violations.
"There is considerable angst about how the policy is unfolding," said John Prendergast, co-founder of Enough! "The current strategy is a recipe for a return to war."
The move comes as the Obama administration is preparing to release a delayed review of U.S. policy on Sudan. Activists, who had hoped Obama would focus more than the Bush administration did on Darfur and take a tougher line, say they fear disappointment.
Advertisements purchased in U.S. newspapers to begin running Tuesday highlight past statements on Sudan by Obama, Vice President Joe Biden and Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton and urge the officials to live up to their words.
They are signed by:
Humanity United,
Save Darfur,
the Genocide Intervention Network,
Enough!
Investors against Genocide.
The groups say they have purchased ad space in newspapers including The Washington Post, The Wall Street Journal and two local papers on Martha's Vineyard in Massachusetts, where Obama is vacationing this week.
One spot quotes Obama's statement on the appointment of his special envoy to Sudan, Scott Gration, in March.
"Sudan is a priority for this administration, particularly at a time when it cries out for peace and for justice," Obama said.
"President Obama, it is just a nice quote unless it inspires equally strong action in Sudan," the advertisement says. It urges the administration to ensure the international community enforces consequences for human rights violations in Sudan.
Some of the activists have been critical of Gration for what they believe is an emphasis on incentives for the Sudanese government to cooperate. While the administration wants to pressure Khartoum to prevent further violence in Darfur, where conflict has led to the deaths of up to 300,000 people and the displacement of 2.7 million, it also is seeking help in fighting terror.
The United States also is trying to help Sudan fully apply the terms of a 2005 peace accord that ended a 22-year civil war between the northern and southern parts of Sudan.
Some of the activists say the administration needs to make clear that it will press for sanctions and other punitive measures if the Sudanese government commits or condones human rights violations.
"There is considerable angst about how the policy is unfolding," said John Prendergast, co-founder of Enough! "The current strategy is a recipe for a return to war."
Sunday, August 23, 2009
It's Not Just Polar Bears
Global warming is affecting many species, not just polar bears. Watch this video to learn more.
Love Shift
Love Shift
Global Warming - Ocean temperatures are up.
Global warming and ocean temperatures are up. Watch this video to learn more. Then visit
Afghanistan War Deteriorating
The situation in Afghanistan is "serious" and "deteriorating," the top U.S. military officer said Sunday, warning that the Taliban insurgency has gotten more sophisticated while the Afghan people increasingly fear for their safety.
Adm. Mike Mullen would not say whether the fight would require more than the 68,000 troops the administration has committed, but expressed concern about falling public support for the war which President Obama has called one of "necessity."
"This is the war we're in," Mullen said matter-of-factly, when asked about public perception of a conflict entering its ninth year.
The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff said the situation needs to be reversed in the next 12 to 18 months.
"I think it is serious and it is deteriorating," Mullen said. "And I've said that over the last couple of years, that the Taliban insurgency has gotten better, more sophisticated."
He said the Taliban have gotten "much tougher" over the past couple years, and that the focus of the mission at this point is to provide security for the Afghan people.
Mullen insisted that the mission would not float in a state of "endless drift," and said the president's strategy was only beginning to be implemented.
"I recognize that we've been there over eight years," he said. "But this is the first time we've really resourced a strategy on both the civilian and military sides. So in certain ways, we're starting anew."
The Obama administration is awaiting an assessment about the situation from the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, Army Gen. Stanley McChrystal. That report is expected in about two weeks and will lead to decisions about whether more troops are necessary. Mullen said McChrystal hasn't yet asked for additional troops.
But amid the new strategy, public support is falling. July was the deadliest month to date for coalition forces, and a Washington Post-ABC News poll released last week showed 51 percent of people think the war in Afghanistan is not worth fighting.
Lawmakers have said this is a sign Obama needs to strengthen his pitch to the American people and make crystal clear why he's escalating the war.
"He really can't just leave this to the Congress, to General McChrystal, and say, folks, sort of, discuss this, after the report comes in," said Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, the top Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
Mullen, a Vietnam veteran, said he's aware that public support for the war is critical.
"Certainly the numbers are of concern," he said.
In broadcast interviews, Mullen and U.S. Ambassador Karl Eikenberry said last week's presidential election in Afghanistan was historic, given the threats of intimidation voters faced as they headed to polling stations. It could be several weeks before it's known whether incumbent Hamid Karzai or one of his challengers won.
"We're not sure exactly what the level of voter turnout was," said Eikenberry, a retired three-star Army general. "Taliban intimidation, especially in southern Afghanistan, certainly limited those numbers."
Mullen and Eikenberry spoke on NBC's "Meet the Press" and CNN's "State of the Union." Lugar spoke on "State of the Union."
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
Adm. Mike Mullen would not say whether the fight would require more than the 68,000 troops the administration has committed, but expressed concern about falling public support for the war which President Obama has called one of "necessity."
"This is the war we're in," Mullen said matter-of-factly, when asked about public perception of a conflict entering its ninth year.
The chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff said the situation needs to be reversed in the next 12 to 18 months.
"I think it is serious and it is deteriorating," Mullen said. "And I've said that over the last couple of years, that the Taliban insurgency has gotten better, more sophisticated."
He said the Taliban have gotten "much tougher" over the past couple years, and that the focus of the mission at this point is to provide security for the Afghan people.
Mullen insisted that the mission would not float in a state of "endless drift," and said the president's strategy was only beginning to be implemented.
"I recognize that we've been there over eight years," he said. "But this is the first time we've really resourced a strategy on both the civilian and military sides. So in certain ways, we're starting anew."
The Obama administration is awaiting an assessment about the situation from the top U.S. commander in Afghanistan, Army Gen. Stanley McChrystal. That report is expected in about two weeks and will lead to decisions about whether more troops are necessary. Mullen said McChrystal hasn't yet asked for additional troops.
But amid the new strategy, public support is falling. July was the deadliest month to date for coalition forces, and a Washington Post-ABC News poll released last week showed 51 percent of people think the war in Afghanistan is not worth fighting.
Lawmakers have said this is a sign Obama needs to strengthen his pitch to the American people and make crystal clear why he's escalating the war.
"He really can't just leave this to the Congress, to General McChrystal, and say, folks, sort of, discuss this, after the report comes in," said Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, the top Republican on the Senate Foreign Relations Committee.
Mullen, a Vietnam veteran, said he's aware that public support for the war is critical.
"Certainly the numbers are of concern," he said.
In broadcast interviews, Mullen and U.S. Ambassador Karl Eikenberry said last week's presidential election in Afghanistan was historic, given the threats of intimidation voters faced as they headed to polling stations. It could be several weeks before it's known whether incumbent Hamid Karzai or one of his challengers won.
"We're not sure exactly what the level of voter turnout was," said Eikenberry, a retired three-star Army general. "Taliban intimidation, especially in southern Afghanistan, certainly limited those numbers."
Mullen and Eikenberry spoke on NBC's "Meet the Press" and CNN's "State of the Union." Lugar spoke on "State of the Union."
The Associated Press contributed to this report.
International Day of Peace
For those with video skills, here is a chance to influence thinking at the United Nations level.
Follow this link:
International Day of Peace
Follow this link:
International Day of Peace
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
